


I Should Have Left Him There.

by Femshell



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Star Wars - Freeform, Unresolved Sexual Tension, kylo ren gets a little forceful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 06:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Femshell/pseuds/Femshell
Summary: When Kylo Ren is stranded with you on an unknown planet, will you be able to dig up the roots of your tumultuous relationship  or will you kill each other first.





	I Should Have Left Him There.

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy! Leave a comment if you like it and tell me what you think :)

“Commander!” You screamed towards the open bay doors as your ship hovered just above the ground. Blaster shots and explosions sounded off all around you. The blood dripping from a cut just above your eyebrow stung your eye obscured your judgment of how far you needed to jump to escape the chaos. The booming voices of Rebel leaders directing their troops forward clashed with first order generals barking orders at stormtroopers to retreat. Enemy fire burnt holes through your ships armor. You frustratedly growled at the steering wheel and bashed your fist against it as your chance to leave this losing battle diminished more and more. Your boss was still dealing attacks as he always did. Every mission he would keep fighting a battle and give you a heart attack while refusing to leave. You hated missions with all the knights. Acting as your commanders pilot was without-a-doubt the most dangerous detail of your job. 

Your commander, Kylo Ren, stood firm with his back to his getaway vehicle. He used the force to throw rebels against a far wall. Their bones breaking blended into the symphony of battle. He deflected blaster fire with his lightsaber while cutting down those who charged at him out of desperation. If even one traitor was alive he would try to hunt them down. You thought it was pointless and cruel, much like his existence.  
“I’m leaving” you started to shut the door and fly farther off the ground. You thought he might actually be stranded before you sensed him slide into the ship at the last second. You thrust the light speed switch as you were thrown against your seat, neck strained. You heard Kylo Ren thud against the hatch door. At least now you wouldn’t have to abandon the first order after leaving their commander to die. As parts of your ship were stripped off by the speed of the thrust, you glared back to see a shiny leather hand clutching the back of your seat. 

“Ugh” you grunted as a crippling force slammed into your ship and you started falling towards the surface of a nearby the plant. You strained against the straps on your chair but you couldn’t see where kylo was while you were spinning aimlessly through the air. The alarms were deafening as you tried to focus on not vomitting. You blacked out on impact. 

Your chest heaved as adrenaline coursed through your veins and brought you back to consciousness. With ringing in your ears and spinning vision, you struggled to recognize where you were. Sparks flew dangerously close to your fingers from the shattered control panel. The ship wasn’t even an enclosed space anymore. The wall to your left had dislodged and the entire front right was beginning to fill with a thick black water. You jerked out of your seat restraints despite your blazing body. When you made it to a somewhat flat and dry patch of ground you panicked, “where had Kylo had ended up?” If he was dead you might as well have been too. The First Order wouldn’t forgive you for being the cause of the death of their most powerful prince. “After you had almost made a clean out too” You slumped lower as your heart began beating too hard for your chest. Your limps seemed to shed the energy they needed in seconds as you struggled to lean against what you prayed was a stump. The fire of the crash only illuminated enough around you that you could see you were surrounded by swampland. Thick, dense, loud swampland. The density of the foliage overhead was so heavy it was hard to tell what time of day it was. The oily water bubbled and rippled as fog rolled off the twisted vines that appeared and disappeared under mangrove roots and a thick layer of moss. You clutched your chest cavity in pain as you frantically tried to sense Kylo in the dark, hoping for your own sake that he was alive. As blackness creeped to the edge of your view you shook your head. You couldn’t pass out. In your defenseless state, it would be seconds before something swam along and swallowed you whole. So you sat and began to assess. You started with yourself. Your neck was the greatest source of your pain, grinding and clicking every time you stretched it. Blaster shots had scathed the outside of your right calf but the cut on your forehead had managed to slow the pouring of blood over your brow. You sat with eyes just open enough to see the few illuminated feet in front of you. You focused on your breathing and berated yourself. If you had left seconds earlier maybe he would’ve climbed in then. Maybe he wouldn’t have and you’d be hurdling for some some remote outpost by now. You always knew your death would be Kylo Ren’s fault. If you made it back could you defy snoke? Could you dismiss kylo as your commander? You smiled, allowing yourself a few seconds to imagine it. 

You were startled aware by noise, calling your lightsaber to you and forming a defensive stance. As the sounds came closer, you distinguished a pattern. They were footsteps. You sighed seeing Kylo Ren emerge from the reeds.   
“ so you did make it” you smirked. This both complicated and simplified things. He wasn’t dead, but now you had to deal with him until you were back on the base.  
He circled the remains of your shredded vehicle and you witnessed the very aggravated force user further damage it with uncalculated messy jabs. None of what he spat was coherent.  
“It might displease you but I must say I don’t think further damaging it will help much.” You rolled your eyes.  
He pointed his saber at you shaking.  
“I don’t recall asking for a failure of a pilots opinion” he hissed.  
You scoffed.  
“A failure of a pilot. Well at least I’m not a SORE LOSER” you huffed under your breath.  
Kylo stormed up to your now hunched over figure. He hoisted you off the ground by the neck of your cloaks to inches from his helmet. His fists clenched so hard you thought his gloves might give. You yelped as he jerked your sore joints and you couldn’t help the tears in your eyes. You could tell he immediately regretted this and seemed to spring feet back as your tried to cradle your own head. 

“Watch your tongue” he hissed. 

You smirked before turning and gathering what items could be salvaged from the wreck.  
“I’ve sent communication to the others. They should be here within days. Until then we’ll just have to survive” he directed you. “We should be heading away from this crash. The rebel scum will be-“

“Looking for us” you both said. You caught the eyes in his mask with a small smile. You nodded and stepped aside waiting for him to lead you both into the thicket. 

You had trudged for hours. The thickness of the fog and the noises from unseen creatures was unrelentless. You were growing mad due to the stasis of scenery.  
“How big could this fucking thing be” you grumbled. You knew it was most likely the whole planet that looked like this but stomping and kicking dirt still helped your to release your aggressions.  
It only took another few hours of meandering for the crashes strain on your muscles to be fully realized.  
“Commander” you tried to get his attention. When he ignored you as he usually did the first time you spoke something you gave up.  
“I’m stopping” you called out. He could go on without you. Your limbs were on the verge of failing a second time and your could barely hold your head up to look in front of you. You’d rather have him leave you than trip and drown.  
He didn’t respond but did stop and lean against a sturdy trunk beside you while you sat steadied yourself on a patch of soil. While massaging your muscles you peered up at him.  
“Are you injured from the crash”  
“I was able to get to a seat and eject” he said.  
“Good” you nodded even though he hadn’t answered your question.  
“You’re neck is injured” he stated.  
“Yes “ your wide eyes communicated your surprise at his comment.  
He vanished from your site but you could sense his suffocating presence directly behind you.  
“What are yo-“ you scrambled to get up but the unwelcome hand on your shoulder held you down. You could feel the leather of his glove press into the back of your neck as you silently whimpered.  
“You’ve just strained it” he returned to his position on the trunk as of he hadn’t just given you a proper check up. There was nothing you could say.  
You pulled out two portions of rations from your pack. You tossed one toward Ren. He caught both the food and spoon. You ate in silence. Light was barely filtering through the branches as the minutes ticked by.  
“I don’t mean to question you but we really need to figure out something for shelter. It’s getting dark.”  
He said nothing.  
“Should I plan to sleep with my saber activated at least” you joked and showed your agitation at his silence.  
“There’s a sort of village a ten minutes walk north”  
“What the hell you could of told me “ you stood up.  
He stayed silent again.  
“Asshole” you whispered as you continued the short distance to some sort of civilization.  
“MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SO SNIDE” he finally screamed at you. You wondered when it would begin. After a mission you would always be in some predicament, get into a huge screaming match, and then return to base to train. On base it never happened because he’d have to kill you for insubordination. When it was just the two of you though, it was different. You didn’t have snokes looming influence to hinder you. You got to be just as yourself with Ren as he was himself with you. The fights also always happened to be about your comments.  
“Must you always act so recklessly” you kept your voice soft knowing it infuriated him even further.  
“Your lack of seriousness constantly forces snoke and I to question your ability” unfortunately, he knew your weak spots just as well as you knew his. 

“I wasn’t the one who almost got trapped there. I wasn’t the one who can’t follow basic strategy. I’m not the one who does everything WITHOUT THINKING” you were at peak volume now. 

“You think we could’ve left with a cannon aimed at us. We still didn’t make it out completely” he screamed back in your face. You hadn’t been able to see outside the ship into the last seconds of the fight. He had made an actual point. This caught you barely, but you still reacted in your quick wit.  
“You think a cannon would’ve been trained on us if we kept to the plan” you had hit the point where you were going in circles and he’d pull his signature line in 3..2..1.

“I’m the commander. You’re just a knight. There are things you can’t understand” 

You let steam shoot from your nose in heated breaths. He always had a way of making you feel so small with that line. Anytime you’d attempt to get him to share anything at all with you, he’d shut you out. Not once had he attempted to help you further understand where he was coming from. He just wanted to keep you in the dark and you were constantly frustrated with snokes faith in him. How could you be though. When snoke chose to teach him things he wouldn’t open to you. 

“Yes commander” your signature response followed. You hung your head in defeat. The more steps you took behind him the more your rage brewed. Your rage at kylo, your rage at snoke, you rage at your inability to make it back and your rage at your constant need to learn more with no one to teach you bubbled up. You quickened and struggled to keep a fast pace that would leave him steps behind you. You didn’t want him to witness your rage manifesting itself in the form of the crystalline droplets now sliding down your cheeks. 

As the foliage began to thin and you sensed life nearby, you had collected yourself.  
“I hope they don’t eat force users” you joked.  
He showed no signs of hearing you.  
“I hope they don’t eat force users” you repeated.  
“I heard you” he stated.  
“It was funnier the second time wasn’t it” you asked sarcastically. 

“Also”, you stopped grabbing his cowl before he was out of range. He could’ve pulled away but he froze. “I’m sorry for failing you as a knight and as a pilot. My actions earlier were a disgrace to the order and I will humbly accept my punishment when we are delivered safely back to the ship.”  
You apologized for later. When you were back on base he couldn’t tell anyone you hadn’t taken responsibility for your actions or throw any of his other usual criticisms against you. You also apologized though because you were sorry. Even with Kylos erratic behavior, you should’ve been able to complete the mission. You hadn’t and you were disappointed in yourself for failing. 

Again, he gave no signs as to if he heard you but you knew, he did. You didn’t need to apologize for him to know you had already been relentlessly beating yourself up over it. 

Two lanterns signified the entrance to the village. Little creatures all swarmed anxiously around a platform and once they saw you and Kylo emerge from the rim of trees at the edge of the clearing they immediately began running around in a frenzy. You tried to get their attention with English to no avail. Kylo reaches for his lightsaber.  
“Killing all of them doesn’t help us not get eaten tonight does it?” You glowered at him.  
“Them running around like lunatics doesn’t help us much either does it” he sneered. You smirked down, avoiding his gaze. That was actually pretty funny. He force stopped one of them. This propelled all of the possum like creatures to drop to the ground and immediately starting doing some sort of ritual praise. Their formation shifted and circled around you. Their fur felt heavenly against your caked legs as they carried you apart from Kylo and into opposite sides of the clearing.  
“I trust them” you glanced from kylo under your lashes, sensing only benevolence from the cute species. He nodded in agreement. While kylo stumbled over the forceful munchkins you weren’t sure he even had the energy to fight them if they were hostile. His usual concrete Stature seemed more fluid, less resistant.  
“If I don’t see you in an hour I’m coming to find you” you yelled. “Yes” he agreed again above all the commotion from the creatures.  
You followed the creatures as they led you up a makeshift pulley elevator. Your eyes saw the cold squares in Kylos mask before the pulley of the elevator started and he disappeared from your view completely for the second time this mission.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Till our next adventure with spaces most emo bachelor


End file.
